Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If I die, sorry about rent.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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