Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
