wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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