her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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