remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
