He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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