i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
