Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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