Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
