this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
