just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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