Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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