you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
