my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
