i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
