umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
