she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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