Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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