I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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