Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
