next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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