check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
