Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
