p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
