I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
