We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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