I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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