Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
