I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
