i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
