remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
