they need to just BURY HIM!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
