Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
