god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
