dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Where is the hickey?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
