like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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