i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
