I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
