flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
