I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
