dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
