So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
