so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
