we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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