Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Randomize
