The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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