Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
