i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
