i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
