i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We left an ass print on the piano.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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