OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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