god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
